(via taygeds)
Hi, I would like to place an order.
200 boxes of cookies…
Do you have the bone shaped ones?
Great, I’ll take 50 of those..
Oh and one more thing…
Do you have any garbage laying around that smell strong?
Yes please, thank you.
Ok so I think that’s it.
The address here?
No, it’s for pick up.
Great, see you soon!
(via ekimeoner)
Dear fairy God Mother:
I want to be a ballerina,
Inside a music box,
And swirl my life away!
Is that asking too much?
I hope not.
Sincerely,
Serge
(via lulz-time)
I used to be an English teacher.
Now I work for the mafia.
Don’t judge me.
Times are tough and I have mouths to feed.
(via lulz-time)